7.16.2017

The end of childhood...

Since Christmas, Blake and I felt that we needed to let Paisley in on the secret that Santa wasn't real. Then she had a birthday and turned double digits and once more I felt the tug that we needed to let her in on the magic. And then I started reading a book with her about puberty and knew it was time... if you are talking to your kid about sex then they should probably know the truth about Santa. So I assigned Blake the task - if I have to do the birds and the bees than he has to do this.

So a few weeks back, Blake and her went to a youth activity at church where they walked the 6 miles to the new temple that they are building in Meridian. They had quite a few hours of walking so Blake took the chance to let her know. He started in with "So do you have any loose teeth?" and "What do you think about the tooth fairy?" and ended with, "Yea - Santa isn't real either." She assured him that she already knew so we thought we were just confirming a suspicion that she already held.

Until the next day.

I went out to put the recycling in the bin. And there they where. Every letter that she had held onto from Santa, Silver Spurs, Lucky the Leprechaun, and the Tooth Fairy. She is a collector and for years has collected these notes as prize possessions and hung them all on her bulletin board. I picked them up and read, with tears in my eyes, all the magic that I had created. It was a beautiful world and I felt awful that we had shattered it for her. She might have been suspicious but she still wanted it to be real - in her heart of hearts she wanted to believe.

And we ruined it.

So I went and found her and talked to her about the magic of it. That it might be pretend but parents do it out of love. That it gives us a way to be part of a fun world of flying reindeer and sneaky fairies. And most importantly that she was in on it now. That she could help stuff stockings and hide eggs and leave trails of gold coins. That she had to help with keeping it a secret from the littles and that she could now write all the fun notes. She understood and was happy that she was now in on it but ultimately confided in me -

"It was more fun to believe..."

And I couldn't have agreed with her more.

5 comments:

Erinlizabeth said...

This makes me want to cry too! A small part of me went along with Virginia as a name for our daughter because I love "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause." Such a true and wonderful little editorial response in tribute to the magic of Santa!

Jo said...

Sad post...

HowellAZ said...

Sweet Paisley!She'll be an amazing Santa's helper, I just know it.

Pops said...

Paisley will be an awesome Santa's helper. Thanks for recruiting her so young. All us Santa's need great "I wish I still believed" helpers.

Krista Darrach said...

You guys are such amazing parents! Thanks for posting! Miss your sweet family.