6.28.2016

hard...

I don't know how to write the hard things...

And I am not talking about the HARD things but just the hard things...

The things that when in hindsight you look back at and think that shouldn't have been so hard but in the moment it has you standing on the threshold of your front door in tears contemplating, "Can I just run away?"

That was my morning - a million little hard things.

Like spilled milk - at least a quarter of a gallon.
And the endless bickering of brothers.
And having to shave my legs in a bathtub with two other little people.
And getting 5 different responses of NO to the question, "Can you watch my boys while I visit teach so they don't break the old lady's stuff?"
And a one year old that now sprints for the road while in the front yard.
And passing my two-year-old's plate of french toast on the way out the door and noticing he only took two bites and knowing full well that the first thing he will say as we pull out of the driveway will be, "I need something to eat."
And a hat being thrown at the back of my head while driving (Am I the only mom who wants to intentionally crash the car when this happens?).
And my 9-year-old saying identical twins over and over. Identical twins... that signs says identical twins. Why does that say identical twins? Is Fielding an identical twin still? Could he still get free pizza because it says identical twins get free pizza?... PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT WORD... What identical twins... why?
And packing lunch for the day at the lake and noticing after the sandwiches are all made that the bagels have mold on them.
And feeling like the trashiest person on earth as you pinch off all the mold parts because heaven knows you aren't remaking 5 sandwiches.

And the guilt because all I can think through it all is I am so not enjoying the journey...

Sometimes I want to write these hard moments... 

but it always comes out sounding whiny on here... 

So I don't...

But on occasion - I do.

Because it is just too hard.

3 comments:

Kara Bowman said...

I completely understand! Your blog isn't whiny is real. Real in the fact that we have all been there maybe not the same senerio but the same I can't do it any more. It's too hard, Real. You are doing amazing and you are one of my personal hero's I only wish I didn't work so I could move in full time I think we'd make am awesome dynamic duo!! I love you❤ and wish I could take away or lessen the hard!

Britt said...

Yes. YES. I get it. Hugs for you today.

Jana Weaver said...

There are definitely hard moments lots here too...how can we start enjoying the journey of young motherhood more? Hope tomorrow goes better.