3.29.2016

Science fair psychosis...

Hypothesis: Putting together two children's science fair projects the night before they are due will cause a mother to break down in tears.

Materials:
-2 tri-fold poster boards
-3 library books
-1 phone with access to Google
-4 cracked eggs on the freshly mopped floor
-2 fighting brothers
-1 teething baby

Procedures:
1. Insert DVD into player in hopes to coma the 2 fighting brothers out while you scramble together a cardboard box, a pie tin, one wool sock, hot glue, and some foam.
2. Frantically assemble various sciency stuff while baby hollers from her high chair.
3. Ask daughter to retrieve the eggs to test sciency stuff.
4. Cry as 4 eggs, at different locations, are dropped onto your floor.
5. Dismiss children saying you will finish once dad gets home.

Observations:
Oldest daughter is well aware when mom is losing it and therefore produces art such as this to ease the tension in the air:

Conclusion: NEVER EVER ATTEMPT TO DO SCIENCY STUFF THE HOUR BEFORE DINNER.

We put together the girl's science projects today - I am still kicking myself for not remembering them while we were on Spring Break and had oodles of time to duct tape junk together and make observations.  In fact, the science fair is optional and I am that mom who attempted to bribe her daughter's with going out to Cheesecake Factory that night instead if we could just skip the whole thing. I am a horrible person. And it didn't even take - Cosette hardly even flinched, "I don't even like cake - I want to do STEM night."  

I thought I had it well planned out to do right after school while the boys watched a show. Turns out I do not do my finest work between the hours of 4:30-5:30. So we adjourned and reconvened after dinner and things went a lot smoother - but that was just poster stuff which I am kind of a pro at. I passed down some awesome poster tips to my daughters like always double mount, choose 3 coordinating colors, and never underestimate the power of a good graphic.


I texted my mom and said, "How did you ever survive 8 kid's worth of science fair projects?"

Her advice: "Reuse the same projects."

I like it.

2 comments:

Jo said...

Looking for some tape today, I found a little note from Paisley that she hid in the drawer during piano yesterday. She's a sweetie.

Britt said...

This is my last school year in which the science fair is optional. Next year begins the horror. 4th grade is when our school requires it. So long, easy life. It was nice knowing you.

(Also, yesterday I had to record myself giving a 7 minute speech for MY school. Every time I got 5 minutes into it, a kid would walk in to the room or start screaming downstairs. When I finally finished my presentation, I had to delete 57 takes from my iPad. 57!!! And many of them ended with me yelling at my kids, which leads me to believe that there are videos on the Cloud somewhere of me yelling at my kids).