Not amazing...

A friend I haven't seen in awhile stopped by today. I showed her around our little farm and she kept exclaiming over and over, "How do you do it?" - "You are amazing." - "You are so on top of things." It was all out of kindness but made me feel incredibly self-conscious because if you have read this blog at all I hope you know that I am not always "doing it." She was looking at some of the things that come easy to me - working in the yard, running, producing insanely cute children, etc... and not the things that I struggle with. I didn't show her "my dirty laundry." But I thought I would air it out here because I can't stop thinking about how skewed her perspective was.

So for your reading pleasure, 10 ways that I am not amazing:
1. I can't keep my car clean. I've been told that the key is to not let your kids eat in your van - I try but it is impossible.
2. Handwashing is often an afterthought.
3. My fridges and freezers are gross - like old food spills that never got cleaned up and are now molding away in the back corner.
4. I offer bare-minimal when it comes to school involvement... like I send in a pack of Sharpies once a year.
5. I am super intolerant of my children's illnesses and injuries - I have to force myself to pay attention to their ailments when all I want to say is "Toughen up!"
6. I can not count the times that I have fed my kids food off the floor, changed bums in horrifically germ-y places, put on thrift-store clothes without pre-washing, and wiped snot with my bare hands. I am far more tolerant of germs than clutter - I think I would call myself a "dirty organized person."
7. I take everything that my husband says way to personally. B: "Will you heat up some beans with this dinner?" C: "You hate my cooking! Do you know how hard it is to get a meal on the table around here? Everything I do is not good enough!'
8. I haven't clipped any of my children's fingernails in over 4 years.
9. I am a sore loser when it comes to boardgames, although I try really really hard to keep my rage to myself. This is unless I have played enough games with you that I feel comfortable to throw my pieces at Blake (always at Blake because he is on a crazy wining streak) in front of you.
10. I yell at my kids. I feel like this is my greatest weakness... I hate the "knives in my voice" when I am talking to my kids.

And as a bonus - sometimes I make cupcakes for a friend's birthday and they turn out like this:

Luckily she was a close enough friend that together we could laugh at my sad from scratch attempt.

 So here is another non-amazing fact about me:
11. I only bake cakes from boxes.


Jana Weaver said...

Throwing game pieces at the husband...i've done/do that. Why do they have to win so much? #10 is a weakness of mine too. I'm trying so hard to get better. It's a huge work in progress. I heard a quote recently that I try to remember..."don't yell at your kids lean in and whisper it's much scarier." And just for the record, I think you write quite profound and beautiful and helpful and meaningful posts at times. It's fun to see the pictures and hear what's happening in your family too! Happy Sunday!

Jo said...

None of these make me think you are any less amazing...but I bet you probably wanted to throw something at me when I offered to let you use my garage vacuum the other day for the inside of your car!!!

Britt said...

I'm not convinced. I'm going to have to come to Idaho and see this "not amazing"-ness in person. Can I come sit in your kitchen for 36 hours? (I have to be there long enough for you to break).

Danielle said...

Those birthday cupcakes were AMAZING and convinced me that you are even more amazing than I thought you were! :) Seriously, you're my hero and I often wonder "how does Cyndi do it all?" I have to say that I love hearing that your fridge is gross, because now I don't feel like such a failure that mine is super gross! Next time I'm over though, I'm totally opening your fridge to see what you consider "gross"! ;)

HowellAZ said...

Cydni, if you keep trying to convince everyone that you are not amazing, then you're going to feel more self-conscience. LOL! As I read your list of 10 things, I just kept thinking...oh, so you're a mom. Those 10 apply to me, plus I don't do any of those extra curricular things you do. But I'm glad you post about them because I honestly live vicariously through you. I'm pretty sure I've already painted a banister and I don't even have stairs in my house.