The elf not on the shelf...

So our door received a knock from our favorite little elf, Silver Spurs, and minutes later the kids were all outfitted in comfy cozy festive jammies.

But not without some drama...

You see at the very top of Paisley's Christmas list, even above longboard and a big-eye animal, is four little words that fill her mama's heart with dread: Elf on the Shelf. I have always been proud of our non-elf status and refuse (even if it shatters her dreams) to cave into the madness of a sneaky little guy who spends his evenings drinking whole bottles of syrup and taking marshmallow bubble baths. I can't do it - I do a lot for kids - but I won't do this.

So when the jammies arrived, unbeknownst to me, a cute little elf was tied onto the package. A vintagey looking kind of guy that I have seen floating around Blake's parent's house for the last 11 years. Paisley immediately spotted the little fellow, grabbed him, and bounced around the room screaming, "We got an Elf on the Shelf! We got an Elf on the shelf!"

To which I had to look at Blake with the "Oh crap" eyes. To which Blake responded with the "I don't get it is" eyes. Ahhhh to be a dad and be gloriously oblivious to the whole holiday-tradition-overkill movement.

I had to let her down gently, "I don't know Pais. He looks kind of old. And he has a hook to hang on the tree. Maybe he is just an ornament."

To which she was surely disappointed. Which made me a little disappointed. My magical moment of Christmas pajama arrival was not going as I envisioned. I redirected the group to milk and cookies in the kitchen and told Paisley to set him on our shelf and we will see what happens.

We awoke to this:

But also, thank heavens, to this:

This is Alver.
He is retired.
He went skydiving to celebrate (like Grandpa Anderson).
 He now looks forward to a quiet spot hanging on our tree.
He is the elf NOT on the shelf.


Taylor said...

You forgot to mention that Paisley's hopes were built up and destroyed all over again when she saw him hanging by the parachute :)

HowellAZ said...

But I thought he got up there on his own...I'm so confused. ;)
I'm so glad my kids are oblivious to this tradition...I can barely keep things together for a normal Christmas without all the extra frills. I think this is a perfect solution to your dilemma.

Danielle said...

You're the best mom ever! You don't need an elf on the shelf! I too, have not jumped on this elf on the shelf train, and I have no intentions of doing so! I love that I'm not the only mom out there that hasn't! :)

connie said...

Oh, sweet daughter, you almost got one mailed yesterday to Paisley when I seen them on sale....ah now maybe you will get five mischievous red guys....you will probably say one day...what was my big deal...and then mail one to your grandchildren to make up for your own guilt

AndersonGR8 said...

If I were you I would keep an eye on this Alver guy. If he is indeed like me I am sure he will be up to some great mischief before the holidays are through - after all he and I reached the retirement age about the same time...