11.15.2015

The power of an invite...

I am an inviter.

Playdates, park trips, lunches, dinners, FHE, game nights, parties, etc... if you have been around me for any extended period of time I have probably invited you to one of these things.

For years, I was the one offering invites yet seldom receiving invites in return. It made me feel like something was "off" about me (which there is - but no more "off" than the rest of all the weirdos in this world). There were some long years as a new mom in desperate search of validation that I overwhelmed those few brave souls who did offer invites (sorry Debbie) and latched onto them with a fierceness that embarrasses me now when I think of it. Those were times when I really could have used an invite but it didn't come so instead I did the inviting...

...over and over and over again.

Just the other day, as I was sitting around eating lunch with a couple moms while we watched our children run hog-wild around my backyard, a new friend said, "I don't know you all that well but I can totally see that your talent is to bring people together." And it made me smile because I don't think this is a natural gift but more of one that I have cultivated in all my desperate attempts at inviting.

But, for once, I have also found myself in a position of receiving invites... lots of invites from lots of different people to lots of different things. 

And it feels nice and good and reaffirming but so many times I wish that all these would have come at an earlier time when I was in a more fragile of a state. 

As I receive these invites and continue to invite in return, I am conscientiously looking for the me from 5 years ago. Where is that mom who is desperate to know that she is doing ok? That would love to hash out newborn feeding routines and toddler sleep strategies. That sits at home and wishes someone/anyone will stir up her lunchtime/storytime/naptime routine with a call to do some crazy kids-strapped-in-strollers-eating-junk thrift store shopping or a text to say "I made too many quesadillas - you guys eat lunch yet?" 

 I want to make sure that that mom is invited...

And that she knows she is OK...

 even if there is something a little "off" about her.

5 comments:

Britt said...

I used to be an inviter. Maybe deep, down, I still am. School and four kids has ruined me.

Jana Weaver said...

Way to develop such a great gift/talent.

Danielle said...

I definitely agree with your new friend!! I've always thought that your ability and desire to bring people together is an amazing talent. You've taught me a lot about reaching out to others and trying to step outside of my shell. It does not come naturally to me. So I'm so thankful for your example and I'll be forever thankful for the many invites you've extended to me over the 3+ years we've known each other!! You make me loved! :)

HowellAZ said...

Yes - this is one of your many talents. You invited us many times and I always came away uplifted and glad that I had the chance to spend time with you. As a homebody and not someone who likes to get out and 'do', I haven't cultivated this talent in myself. But everyone needs to be reached out to, even if it is out of one's comfort zone.

Jo said...

Something I very much appreciate about you, Cyndi, is your willingness to invite. I love you for that.