Last time I was at my sister Jaci's house, I was sitting on the couch watching her photo screensaver on the computer while I fed Luna. A photo popped up that I can't get out of my head.

It was of my sister's kitchen. Three small children were sitting on the counter and the oldest was standing nearby in an apron, holding a spatula. There was a large pan and the unmistakable vibe that pancakes were about to be made.

It took my breath away.

As I looked around at my sister's kids, one about to start college, the other tearing it up on the high school XC team, another well into junior high, and the youngest a very independent cub scout, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. 

It does happen. It isn't forever. I won't always have a small child on my counter "helping".  I keep hearing it does... that it goes so fast... but going on 8 years of "little kids" it seemed like this was to be my life - forever. 

But now here was the photographic evidence. They grow. They mature. They buckle themselves in the car - wait, they drive the car. They scrounge up their own food. They drink from cups without spilling a single drop. Heck, they even carry on intelligent conversation. It was all manifesting itself to me for what seemed to be the first time and I stared in disbelief.

That will be me - someday.  I won't always be that mom with all those kids hanging on me, and more often than not, one on the way. This way I view myself, my kids, my family will all be altered.

On Saturday, we took a family outing to Zamzows. While Blake was discussing algae on our Hazelnut tree with the sales associate, the kids and I headed to the back to check out the animals. At one point, I was taking turns hoisting each kid up to see the tarantula cage. After the three younger, Paisley softly asked, "Can you lift me Mom? I want to see." I put my arms around her and hoisted her a few inches off the floor. It was enough for her to view the overly-large spider, which is a good thing because I couldn't have lifted her any higher. The weight and size of her struck me and all I could think was this will most likely be the last time I hold her. 

It's started to happen.

It won't be forever.

I can't believe it.


AndersonGR8 said...

And now you are starting to sense some of the amazement we feel when we consider Connie and I have been and all that has transpired in what seems to be just a short time. It is deceptive and happy that you are enjoying all of the stages of a growing and active family. Love the summation of the transition of time.

HowellAZ said...

I'm sure I will miss so much of this little kid stage, and I'm sure I'll especially miss all those little things that I find annoying now. I'm sure I will miss it, but it's just so hard for me to find the balance of 'now'. Thanks for the post - it was very poignant.

Krista Darrach said...

You're family has grown so much since you lived here in Arizona. You are so right. I'm not sure why it's so hard to understand this, when your 'in' it. I guess it's all about perspective. I feel like it was just yesterday I was wrestling getting 5 kids to church, taking a drive around the block for some alone time. Now they are all grown and now THEY have kids of their own. How did this happen? My baby just got married this year, and he's 24. He was just a baby, it's like warp speed.
Now we're empty nesters and lately I've been all melancholy looking at pictures of my grandkids - and how much THEY have grown. Can it be possible they are growing even faster than my kids have? It would seem so. When did this happen, and I keep muttering, "it all went by so fast - but felt like it would never end."
Enjoy the precious moments - I'm so glad you keep up your blog. (I didn't) looking back on journaling helps to document and remember these times, when they are little. What a great mom you are! You're family is awesome. Miss you guys! :)