4.20.2015

5 kids...

So 5* kids makes a statement. I feel like with this pregnancy I have passed a threshold.

I went from:

"4 kids - oh, you're Mormon."

to

"5 kids - ohhhhhh - you're one of those Mormons."

I see this look in their eyes that says,  "I want to ask if you are done, but if she's going for 5 than that probably means she's not because who ends on odd numbers. I shouldn't ask but I really want to. Please tell me you are done?!?"

I get it - 5 kids is lots. 5th kid means every seat in my mini-van will be full. 5th kid means two cribs, one toddler bed, and one bunk bed. 5th kid means a total reset on the years before my children will all be in school button.

So why am I doing it? Why am I having another?

Because I still think I am doing more good than harm. I still think that even in the I'm stretched so thin there is nothing left of me moments, my kids got it pretty good. They have two parents who are 100% devoted to each other and to them. Their dad provides financially for us to live very comfortably. Their mom works to nurture them physically, mentally, and emotionally.  They attend an amazing school. They participate in extra-curricular activities. They have an extended family unit that loves them unconditionally. They have a strong support system through their teachers and leaders at church.  They have routine doctor checkups and semi-annual dentist visits. My kids have never been truly hungry, cold, neglected, or abused. 

So there it is. That is why I am having another. There is still room in this home and love in this heart for another child. 

And if the past is any indicator than this child will have it pretty good.

*No matter the number of kids Blake and I finally settle on there will always be an asterisk behind it. I remember Talmage every time "my number" is spoken, I just can't spend a lifetime correcting it.

4 comments:

Jo said...

Any child is blessed to come into your home!

AndersonGR8 said...

And besides grandpa still needs someone to roll around on the floor with as the older ones get too big. Every day is a party in big families.

Jana Weaver said...

I love how you wrote this: "I still think that even in the I'm stretched so thin there is nothing left of me moments, my kids got it pretty good." A wonderful reminder for me to tell myself when I'm struggling and wonder how in the world am I going to be a good mom. You and Blake are such a wonderful example!

HowellAZ said...

Anything more than one kid is a lot in my book! You are rocking being one of 'those' mormons...ha! Don't worry about the looks in their eyes - it's probably more of a "how in the world can she maintain her sanity" kind of looks. At least, if it was coming from me that's basically what I would be thinking. But in that same look of 'awe' (if you will), I would be thinking "more power to her - she is amazing!" Plus, in the scheme of things, what's one more gray hair?!?