10.16.2014

Ridiculous...

About a year ago, I attended a writer's workshop at the library about how to include humor into your writing. The presenter did a fabulous and laugh-out-loud funny job. One of my favorite things she said that day went along these lines:

We are all our own brand of ridiculous. It is easy to notice it in those around you - that friend who only drinks a specific brand of bottled water or that in-law constantly spewing cringe-worthy political views.  But it is when you can pinpoint your own ridiculousness that some really humorous writing occurs.

I have quoted this back to myself a lot throughout the past year because it helps me be a little kinder when someone I know starts being a bit ridiculous. So when I am at the gym and I see those girls walk in with full make-up and matchy-matchy outfits, all I have to say in my head is, "We are all our own brand of ridiculous." and I am immediately reminded of all the quirks that make me just as ridiculous. It has helped me stop being so judgy and ornery - something I constantly have to work at.

So here it is - a brief look* at what makes me my own brand of ridiculous:

*I don't function well when I am hungry. I can't comprehend when people show up at evening Relief Society activities and say "Oh good there are treats - I didn't eat dinner." What?!? It is 8pm and you haven't eaten dinner - if I waited until 8 to eat dinner I would be a helpless puddle of flesh and bones unable utter a complete sentence. Also along these lines falls my ridiculous need to eat "real" food and my avoidance of eating anything that belongs in the room-temperature category.

*I'm incapable of stocking up. I have four children and a husband who eats a lot. I should be able to go the grocery store and drop $100 without even thinking about it but I have this really bad habit of just buying one of what I need. If we are out of ceaser dressing - I buy one even though we sure as heck could eat at least 10 bottles before the expiration date ever hits. I have to force myself to buy extra quantities of anything and since grocery shopping is my current nightmare - I am really trying hard to change my paradigm.

*I don't clip my kid's finger nails. I don't bother lathering them with lotion. The bubbles in the bathtub double as body wash and shampoo. Occasionally I cut their hair... occasionally. Sometimes I think I live on borderline neglect when it comes to my kid's hygiene - but seriously if they play in the sandbox enough their nails eventually will file themselves down.

*I've mastered some of the bigger things of housewifery - I do laundry like a champ and my sink rarely has dishes in them overnight but it's the little things (like the sound of my 7-year-old blowing her nose for 5 minute intervals) that make me want to update my resume and permanently retire my SAHM status.

*I'm a little bit of an anti-Mormon Mormon. I love my faith. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the good people of my church that I get to associate with on a regular basis. But the culture that swirls around when large masses of Mormons congregate together drives me batty. Just tonight my parents stopped by for a quick visit and we went out to eat. We headed to Costa Vida and I couldn't help but mutter to Blake, "Ugh - this is place is so Mormon." Which since I am SOOOO Mormon is an ironic thing to say. There is a sameness that comes with my religion that Cynical Cyndi has to kick against sometimes.

*I have a very complicated and troubled relationship with technology that I am always trying to amend. Why can't I just be normal and Instagram it up like the rest of the world baggage-free? Why do I over think all things internet-based? Why does my computer leave me feeling grumpy and isolated instead of happy and connected like it does for the rest of the world?

*I think soda is of the devil but see no issue in drinking a large Oreo milkshake everyday. I don't because of cost and convenience but if those were not a factor - I totally would.

*This is not an extensive list - if I thought long enough (or asked Blake for his input) I am sure volumes could be written on my ridiculousness.

1 comment:

HowellAZ said...

Haha! I see why we make good friends. We're both a little 'ridiculous'. :)