O Tannenbaum...

We are Christmas Tree snobs (or so I've been told by my 18 year-old brother-in-law). But really I think that is about as far from the truth as you can get... If I was a snob, I would have my handy-dandy, pre-lit artificial waiting each year in the attic. All the branches would face out and up. And there would be no needles and sap to wrestle with. And it wouldn't have gaping-holes or a crooked trunk or reach my ceiling.

So this is a tutorial on how NOT to be a tree snob.

1. Drive to your local National Forest. Stop at ranger station and get your handy-dandy map.

2. Eventually arrive at designated location with eager children in tow. 

3. Quick - take cute pictures of kids before the cold renders them snotty and grumpy.

4. Abandon your children as you try to manuever up a crazy steep hillside to get to the 'good trees.'

 5. Carry children here, there, everywhere as you search for the perfect tree. Well, any tree at this point because it is getting dark and the thrill is over - atleast for the little ones.

6. Head back down the mountain to warm up while Dad makes executive decision on which tree to get.

7. Drink some hot chocolate and try to thaw out little fingers.

8. Get really excited as you wait for your new tree.

9. Get a little bored as you wait for your new tree.

10. Watch husband carry...


and heft tree to your car. 

11.Laugh because once more, Blake has chosen a GIANT tree... he is 6'4'' so that will give you an idea of how massive this 20 year old fir is that we found. It is more of a Christmas bush than a tree.

 12. Tie the beast to the top of your mini-van with your cute 4-year-old posing in the car.

13. Make sure you got your tree-tag so you don't end up in jail for tree-thievery.

14. Bring tree home. Put in tree-stand and remove 40% of its growth just so it can fit through your doorway. 

15. Bedazzle it up and step back to admire your work.

16. Then laugh at your perfectly-imperfect tree and know that it takes a lot of work to be a tree snob!


connie said...

how fun, thanks for the blog I feel I experienced some of the fun?!?!?!?! You are really good parents. Loved the blog with Fielding on the stairs. I sent a comment but it didn't go through. my you have cute children and a very snobby, nice Christmas tree.

Taylor said...

Wait a minute...are you now calling ME a Christmas tree snob? HA HA

HowellAZ said...

Hilarious! Loved how you took us through step-by-step. You guys are awesome! Family fun memories.

busy bowman said...

THANKS FOR THE REMINDERS OF WHY CHRISTMAS SHOULD BE FUN! I have been a Christmas Grouch lately! First CHristmas smile in a while!