7 years...

A few months back, I was at the park. A father came up to the play structure and I did the thing I always involuntarily do when I see someone with small children that happen to be similar in size.

Don't look - they might be twins.
They aren't wearing matching clothes so maybe they are just siblings.
Don't look.
But their shoes match.
Don't look.
And there names both start with L.
Don't look.
And that hair - it's exactly the same on both - right down to the cowlicks.
Don't look.
But they are just so beautiful.
Don't look.
I want to say something.
Don't look.
 I want to tell him how freaking amazing his life is.
Don't look.
How lucky he is.
Don't look.
How jealous I am.

This happens every time I see twins - has since the day we lost Talmage and I saw my first set in the NICU. But this day something was different - there was a shift. I had to say something. I couldn't hold it in and I needed to acknowledge what I was seeing in front of me. I have always pondered the perfect thing that I (a mother of a twinless twin) could say to a twin parent but I could never make the acknowledgment. The thought of saying, "Are they twins?" nauseated me, "You are blessed." too cliché, "I want your life" too creepy and overdramatic.

But it came - light as a feather and healing to my heart,
"Your boys are beautiful."

Now I know what to say - it isn't any easier... yet... but at least it is a start.


Humble runner...

Blake ran a 20 miler on Saturday. It was a trail run up a mountain through weeds and mud and did I mention up a mountain. He called once he was finished and here is the phone transcript:
Me: How was it?
Him: Oh as good as I expected.
Me: K - Was it fun?
Him: Yeah - except I biffed it hard.
Me: Oh really - where?
Him: Coming downhill and it laid me out flat - It is going to hurt tomorrow.
Me: I'm sorry...
Him: Yeah...
Me: Sooooo... (We always have at least one awkward pause in our phone conversations - 15 years and we are still lousy at it).
Him: Soooooo...
Me: Did you finish front of the pack, middle of the pack, of end of the pack?
Him: Oh I got first.

I brag about Blake's running on here because he never does. It I ever finished 1st in any race it would be the first thing out of month to any person who I happen to walk by that day. I always have to ask him specifically for his place and these days it is usually top 3.


And his award was super humble... or just lame. 

This is so Idaho. Really a shotgun shell on twine as a medal and another shotgun shell on a 2x4 for your plaque. Pretty sure this would be an illegal promotion of gun violence in some parts of the country, but I guess you can't expect much when you live in a state that is shaped like a gun and every third vehicle has a bumper sticker proudly displaying such a fact.


Getting soft...

Blake mentioned last night that he is getting too soft to be a good dad. I knew what he meant...

But when you are the youngest and this cute and spunky - it's hard not to just give her the world.

Last Thursday, Blake had to work late so I needed to pick Cosette up from dance so instead of dropping her off and rushing home to make dinner - we stayed and watched. Next door was a mini-class and Luna was captivated. She watched every move and did most of them from the hall better than the kids in the actual class. She kept coming over and saying, "I do dance?!?" I have a rule that I don't sign kids up for activities until they are 3 and usually more like 4 or 5. But she was so into it and kept asking. I told her we had to get a leo and skirt first and thought that was the end of it. An hour later when we made it home, she ran to the dress-up box threw on an old recital outfit and said, "I am ready - I go to dance now!" So I caved and signed her up.

She was so happy and did so well at her first class.

Mrs. Bri taught Paisley and Cosie when they were 2 and 3 so it was so fun to see her teaching Luna. Luna reminds me so much of Paisley at this age - strong and coordinated and not afraid of anyone. She loved the ballet part of it...

But then it was time for tap and that was when she really got into it. She high-stepped and stomped like a champ. It was adorable to watch and I am glad I caved... and glad the class was offered on Tuesdays when Perry was at preschool and I didn't have to referee him the entire time in the crowded hallway.

So Luna won once more - we are going soft!


Cosette is nine...

Cosie Cute turned 9 today!!! 

The big event for this year was she wanted to get her ears pierced.




I swear she instantly looked older!

Today we celebrated with a friend glowstick party. Her "Nine and Shine Glow-party" as she called it!

Finally after 5 years, Blake thought that enough rain had hit Idaho that he felt safe lighting our paper lanterns that we bought back when Rapunzel/Groupon were big.

They were awesome! And no major fires/burns/injuries so that is good.
 With only two adults we couldn't get them all launched simultaneously but I'd love to do that sometime - they really were fun to watch for old and young alike.

Back inside was games:

Cake - I mean donuts:

And presents:

In true Cosie fashion, her party went from 5:30 to 7:30 and at 7:10 she appears in the kitchen obviously "done" with the party. I told her that she needed to be with her friends for 20 more minutes... she lasted - just barely. And as soon as they were out the door - we couldn't get her to bed fast enough. She was wiped from her special day. Maybe I should remember to have an hour time limit for her birthday parties. She loves the excitement but she does get overwhelmed/exhausted slightly more than the rest of my crew.

Fun to celebrate a fun girl!


The 10 movies I have seen (or hope to see) the most...

I've had movies on my brain lately. Something to do with that opening scene with Hugh Jackman whisper singing under the bleachers of a circus - I just can't get it out of my head. I love a good movie that gets me thinking... or singing... or laughing... or crying.

So I thought I would put it out there - my top favorite movies. I put them in a sort of rank although my mood at any given moment could completely change that.

10. Tangled
I hate kid movies and this is the only one on the list - sitting through 2 hours of most shows with my kids is an act of love that I rarely do. Tangled was the first movie I took my girls to see in the movie theater (and I think the last) and I bawled through half of it... granted we had just gone through losing Talmage and the parents mourning for their lost princess hit a little too close to home. For me, this is the epitome of good Disney - perfect songs, fun characters, and colorful animation. I just introduced it to Perry and Luna the other day and smiled the entire time I heard it playing in the background while I mopped my floor (which is why I can't watch movies with my kids - I can't turn my brain off to all the things I could be accomplishing in that moment).

9. Avatar
The highest praise I can give a movie is that the second the credits begin to roll I turn to Blake and say, "I want to watch that again." Avatar did that for me. I know it got flak because of the unoriginal plot but the world James Cameron created was completely original and beautifully done. And the whole "I see you" thing  - ahhhhh, I can think of no better way to say " I love you."

8. Star Trek: Newest reboot
Action flicks are my true love and they did these 3 films so well. I married a low-level Trekkie so when we watched the first of this series I was like, "Finally a Star Trek that doesn't put me to sleep!" Chris Pine is the perfect Captain Kirk - a completely flawed person who is always able to pull it off. I get super excited when they announce that they are making a new one and all I have heard so far is that the next will probably be R rated which ticks me off to no end.

7. The Fugitive
I first watched this movie as a 10-year-old and I was hooked. It completely freaked me out but I couldn't help but wanting to watch it over and over again. The story was so tricky and awful and something that could totally happen in real life. And Harrison Ford showed me what good acting could do for a movie - for the longest time I thought this was a true story... I still kind of might.

6. The Bourne Series
I think Jason Bourne is to thank for Blake and I's successful marriage. If we are ever having a blah day all we need is a little of this spy's heroics (and some ice cream) and we are back on track. We've watched these more times than we can count - they are all so good... especially once they ditched they shaky camera thing.

5. Star Wars: Rogue One
I like the fun and excitement that Star Wars brings into our culture. The actual movies have never been my favorite - especially since I grew up as the released Episodes 1 through 3 which truly were awful. Blake and I saw Rogue One for our anniversary last year and it knocked my socks off. (Spoiler alert:) About 30 minutes before the end - Blake leaned over and said, "They are all going to die." And I gasped, "Oh no - you are right!" It was such an awful ending but the only acceptable one and I was so impressed with how well they pulled it off. I still miss Jyn and want her back (and Cassian too).

4. The Martian
Matt Damon at his finest. This movie is funny and suspenseful and makes me smile every time I watch it. I feel like whoever wrote the script did so perfectly (or the actors ad-libbed perfectly). Every line adds to the movie and I love that!

3. Kate and Leopold
I am not a romantic comedy girl - but Kate and Leopold is about as good as it gets.  It is my go-to movie to watch whenever Blake is out of town - although he doesn't mind watching this one chick-flick with me. It is quirky and fun. And Hugh Jackman...

2. The Greatest Showman
You know it has got to be good if it has been blog mentioned 3 times. This movie just makes me so happy! It is just magical - I couldn't keep my mouth shut during this movie. I wanted to comment on everything to Blake (much to his annoyance). When Anne was tapping her hands/setting her ropes and Phillip came in - I turned to Blake and said "THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD!" And it was... and that is how I felt about the whole thing - They built up each scene so well and then it delivered. And Hugh Jackman...

1. The Prestige
My all-time favorite movie. Please do not confuse it with The Illusionist that came out at the same time. This movie is smart - like so smart. I told somebody how much I loved it once and they said, "Oh I totally saw what was coming." Which to them I had to say "NO YOU DIDN'T!" The ending was so shocking and good. I watched this in a crowded living room sitting on the most uncomfortable folding chair but when it ended I couldn't move - I was caught in it's spell and wanted to start it all over so I could figure it out again. Once you know the ending and then watch it again - you truly can see just how well done this movie is. And Hugh Jackman...


The rest of it...

Blake grew a beard... he wouldn't let me take the picture when he had his shirt off about to shave it - it would have been a much nicer picture.

Kara gave us a "bored box" on the way home from Washington and we put it to good use those last few days of break - still finding water beads everywhere. I think we will save the rest of them for outside summer play.

We terrorized Toys-R-Us in our pajamas while dad was at the Nike store.

A last frolic in the snow - Paisley finally got to put her snowman kit to use. It is all melted now.

We blasted Fielding's Mentos launcher - it was very anti-climatic.

Stuffed animal fun - the kids spent a good 3 hours playing with these on Saturday. I kind of hate the purposelessness of stuffed animals so I was happy that they were played with so well.

Being silly.

The kids all moved up in church classes - we moved to 9am church - so far everyone has liked the changes.

And the kids are back to school - Luna and I did a happy dance:

Blog funk - must be January.


Year end review...

I am feeling reflective today... something about it being the final day of winter break - WOOO HOOO!!!. (I'm not counting Saturday and Sunday... we are just going to play it out like it is just a normal weekend and that the kids haven't been home for 15 days strait. BAHAHHAHHAHA - crazy laugh!)

I'm a resolution setter and since I changed phones late Summer - I no longer had my resolutions on my home screen so I completely forgot what my 2017 goals were. After some digging I found them again and was pleased that I had a pretty high success rate for the year.

Physical: Always have a veggie on the table with dinner
*This has become second nature which I think makes a goal a complete success. I don't have to think "Oh should I pull out a veggie?" anymore - I just do it and our dinners have a veggie 95% of the time now. 

Mental: Call people instead of text
*I did really well with this for half the year but now I've fallen back into a lazy text-er again. I do try hard to call if I have more then 2 pieces of information that I need to convey to someone or if I feel like I am becoming a bit isolated. Texting can be really inefficient and I am more aware of it's limitations now.

Social: Never say something about someone that you wouldn't say in front of them.
*This is one that will always require effort but I do feel like I did improve.

Spiritual: 6am scripture study and attend the temple once a month.
*Total fail on the early scripture study... I blame becoming pregnant a few weeks after I set this goal and then I blamed Luna's horrific sleeping patterns now I just blame being lazy. I did well with temple attendance and hope to keep it up throughout this year as well. 

And here are just some random review questions of 2017:

  1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
  2. *Boston marathon with Blake - I will remember it forever.

  3. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
  4. *Losing Baby Boston.

  5. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
  6. *Friends - I am in a good friend spot in my life and I feel very blessed.

  7. What was an unexpected obstacle?
  8. *Luna's sleeping - It was a high sleep deprivation year which isn't fair because I didn't even have a newborn whose scrunchy-ness made it all worth it.

  9. Pick three words to describe this past year.
    *Amusing, messy, and full.

  10. What was your biggest change from January to December of this past year?
  11. *We completely switched from white rice to brown rice - this was a pretty big deal... just ask Paisley who cried for joy over the white rice at Kara's on New Years.

  12. In what way did you grow emotionally?
  13. *Learning empathy for a hard challenge that someone close to me was facing.

  14. In what way did you grow spiritually?
  15. *I did... can't really remember specifics.

  16. In what way did you grow physically?
  17. *I was fit enough that I could run a marathon with only 5 weeks of training... that was a huge accomplishment.

  18. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
  19. *I have just accepted that with some people you click and others you do not... be kind to those who you lack the click with but don't try to push something that is not there. And when you find that click offer up a glorious hallelujah.

  20. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
  21. *Ummm... I don't know. I have conscientiously eliminated the typical "time wasters" from my life. Sometimes I waste time reading books that weren't worth the ink they were printed with... but you can never know that until you spend some time with them.

  22. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
  23. *With my kiddos - I should "be home" with them... even if I kick against it at times. My favorite way I used my time was running away with Blake - he is my favorite time waster!

  24. What ways did you waste money this year?
  25. *Food - the only thing I really waste money on is food. It is just so tasty!

  26. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
  27. *Life is so insanely complex... be kind because everyone has issues.